Guest Post | Ifunanya on Homestuck: Things I think about upd8

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It’s pretty cool Dirk has that God Tier power up his sleeve. It’s quite fitting for a Prince of Heart, prince meaning destroyer.

Really Dirk’s been demonstrating his tendencies as a Prince of Heart for ages, since His introduction. All versions of himself, Auto-Responder, Lil’ Hal, Brobot, Dream Dirk, brain-ghost Dirk, all serve to show the inclination as a Prince of Heart to have multiple versions of yourself existing.

Princes tend to “destroy” or “split”. The aspect of Heart symbolizes the body and soul.

Just like Aranea’s soul is being split from her body right now.

Dirk’s ability to both function as his real and dream self simultaneously is also really befitting of a Hero that can split his soul and/or body. Strangely, Dave – it was revealed, had a dream self that was awake all this time. Similar to Dirk, maybe Dirk, or Dave’s bro passed on this ability? Hmmmmmmm. There’s probably something to be said about Dirk possessing an unbreakable katana while being someone who splits and destroys souls and bodies. I don’t know though. Finally, Dirk wasn’t at all affected by Trickster Mode, probably because of his Heart aspect and maybe something to do with his class too? Hmmmmmmm.

Ifunanya is one of my closest friends; he originally wrote this post on his (now abandoned) tumblr blog in 2013. I reblogged it at the time, which meant that when I imported my tumblr to wordpress to create my new website, this came with it. I’ve left it up mainly because I know that’d annoy Ifunanya, and I think that’s really funny.

I would link to some of his social media, but he’s blocked me on a lot of it after I wrote him a very heartfelt and moving birthday message. Go figure. So, instead, here’s my social media, per the norm.

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Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Movie Pitch

fantastic beasts and where to find them pitch crimes of grindlewald logo jk rowling david yates eddie redmayne jude law johnny depp

Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m at least a week late. Yet I shall still add my thoughts to the pile. Here be thoughts on the casting, the plot and… probably other stuff.

On Story

In the interviews, the film was described as the start of a series. I assumed this meant a series about Newt Scamander, rather than adapting all the tie-in books, like Quidditch Through the Ages and etc. Although I imagine that films like that might be inevitable at this point.

So, the first chapter of the life of Newt. The first film doesn’t need to be his whole life – it can just be part of his research for the book. So here he is, in 1920s New York (which is good, because it sets it apart from the other films visually) and Newt is down on his luck. The biography section in the back of Fantastic Beasts says that he’s living on minimum wage, or the Wizarding equivalent. And then, from there, he goes on his quest… to find the animals. It shouldn’t be another, massive “end of the world” stakes story; this is a bit more of a personal quest type thing. Also, he should have a best friend who is a Slytherin. Not an evil one, cos they’re not evil, but an ambitious one, who is sarcastic (possibly referring to him as “Salamander” the whole time). I think that the friend should possibly make a fair amount of the journey with him?

Newt himself should be… like the magical Steve Irwin, but also quite like Hiccup III in How to Train Your Dragon (the film, not the book), where he has that sort of “well, why is this happening? Lemme find out” kind of quality.

On actors

I’m picturing Newt as sort of… a cross between Matt Smith and Martin Freeman, which I guess means someone like Ewan McGregor? I think he’d do quite well at the part.

Equally though, I think that perhaps he should probably be a POC character, cos there weren’t many in the Harry Potter films. So… suggestions?

If not Newt as a POC, it should be his Slytherin best friend. (The Slytherin guy should be really very important in the story. Like, this is really a friends story, I think.)

Also, Hugh Laurie should be in it. Possibly as young Dumbledore, possibly as someone else. Because he’s really cool.

On the tone and the world

The weird thing about setting this in magical America (assuming it is in magical America, that is. Maybe there’s just lots of fantastic beasts there, but no wizards) is that you kind of have to explain how the Wizarding world co relates with each other. And… that makes no sense at all, when you think about it. Why is it that no one stepped in when Voldemort was doing his thing? Britain’s in the middle of a civil war, and not one wizarding authority anywhere thought… hey, maybe we should step in and stop this Voldemort guy? (That’s kind of my only problem with JK Rowling’s writing. There’s a lot of stuff she didn’t seem to totally think through)

Generally, the film should be relatively happy, and fun, because it is about a guy going round and having the most fun ever doing what he loves.

On the title

Um, is Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them all that great a title for a movie? It doesn’t seem wholly marketable to me…

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